I am in disbelief..my childhood icon & inspiration is gone. Rest in peace Michael Jackson, you were one of my biggest heroes.

Ah, getting closer to the time Matt graduates from AIT. WOOOOOO!!! Only a few more weeks..

Layla came to visit & we had a looot of fun! We went to Sea World, Schlitterbahn, the Alamo, the Riverwalk, the Mexican Market, & a bunch of other places. Basically, all the stuff I've been meaning to do since I moved here 4 months ago -_-. If anyone is interested, I'll post some pics from her trip.

Also, I got the Sims 3!!! I'm freakin addicted. It's amazing.

I can't believe Coldplay is going to be here on Wednesday I can't go. I went to their concert back in November in Detroit, MI. It was seriously one of the best concerts I have ever been to. They are so inspiring to me I them

I keep having dreams about my cats, particularly Violet!! I wake up missing her more & more every day. I'm getting pretty sick of being alone all the time. I know Matt misses home too. He's under so much stress, I'm so proud of him. We're both going to be so happy once we can go back home for a bit & stop having to watch the clock constantly. Then it's off to wherever they're sending us! Which is fine, as long as I actually get to live with him, & he comes home every night. :siiigh:

Recent Obsessions:



Um wow, freaking talented people

Soooo...I'm going to post some new stuff soon, I just need to finish the many things I've started. Photoshop is getting easier, what with tutorial after tutorial I think I may be getting the hang of things. Somewhat. I still get mighty frustrated sometimes I'm sure it just takes lots of patience & practice.

My older sister Layla is coming to visit from Indianapolis in 2 days I can't believe I haven't seen my parents, or my CATS , or the rest of my family in almost 4 months. Lisa came & visited about 2 months ago, which I'm still in disbelief over. It's strange being on my own, I keep thinking about how hard it was to leave home, & now it's going to be hard to go back. My parents are still in divorce limbo land, living in the same household & never speaking. It's nuts I really don't know how they're still living in this situation. So miserable.

This week has totally sucked. Matt & I are getting hardly any time to see eachother, since his platoon sergeant is a raging bitch & is making his life hell. I drive to the base, sit around for nearly 2 hours waiting, & then get to see him for 5 minutes. Seriously. I'm going to stop myself before I go on a major rant about it.

Anywho, *Gatobob recently posted a journal that made me think. Sometimes when I'm alone for too long with too much time on my hands, I start thinking about horrible, scary things. Just how much shit there really is in the world. Sick, fucked up, & just evil shit. I scare myself, & then I go & watch graphic HBO documentaries about the Sichuan Province in China getting an earthquake that killed 60,000+ people, mostly children, due to poor construction of schools. I watch the Alzheimer's specials & see so much pain. I go to the Wildlife Rescue & Rehab & see animals that have been neglected, abandoned, tortured. I think about the middle east & how my husband is probably going to have to go there for a year. It terrifies me. I stare at the horrible stuff too long & think about it too much. I guess when you take life really seriously, it's hard to see the beauty, it's hard not to be afraid. But if you live in fear, you're not living at all.

OOF! Well, I think I've rambled on long enough. The Sims 3 comes out in a little more than a week! WOOOOOO!!!! I'm freakin excited!

Recent Obsessions:



Um wow, freaking talented people

Well lately I've become re-obsessed with deviantart. I spend hours on here just looking at people's artwork. It usually inspires me, but sometimes it annoys me a little bit. There are some artists on here that I absolutely adore [[,,, just a few ^_^]], then there are some that I believe are very talented but seem so conceited & concerned way too much with their popularity on this website. Maybe it's just their way of promoting their artwork. I'm not judging, it's just something that's bothered me for a long time. I've been on here for over 4 years & I have not yet reached 700 pageviews lol. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this journal...but that's not why I'm on here. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

I'm still struggling with learning the ropes of Photoshop. I feel like I'd just be better off sticking with traditional art. I'm not sure why such a big part of me wants to learn it o_O I've also been fiddling around with some HTML stuff. Just minor crap. There are still so many things about it that I don't understand.

I feel like I can never have a positive journal entry, for the past few weeks I've been in a crappy mood every day. I can't get myself to leave the house, mainly because I'd be alone & I don't know anyone here, & Matt & I will be leaving in a month. & actually possibly maybe live together as a normal-ish married couple. I don't have a job, & I don't really want one. At this point it wouldn't even be worth it. On a positive note, my sister Layla is coming to visit in a week! I'm pretty excited, I hope she'll have fun here. I miss my family a lot.

Recent Obsessions:



Um wow, freaking talented people

The weather is so beautiful here today! I love the big puffy clouds, the hot weather, it feels like it would if it were mid-summer in Indiana. I really freakin wish I had a pool, or was closer to the beach. :/

I've been drawing despite my bad mood, & trying to keep the negative thinking out. Every time I put the pencil to the paper, or open up photoshop, I get these voices in my head telling me I suck & should give up before I even try to start. Maybe it's a bad sign that I just said "I get these voices in my head." Whatev, I'm trying my best to ignore them & push past it. Maybe something good will come out in the end.

Now I'm going to stop inhaling these Twizzlers before I explode into a gross, red, sticky mess.